Embracing Change – The Cocoon Stage of Transformation
Sometimes, change feels like a thunderclap - sudden, loud, and impossible to ignore. Other times, it’s a faint whisper, quietly settling in your gut, saying: “I’m here. It’s starting.”
At first, we might try to brush it aside, pretending we don’t hear it. But even the quietest whisper of change grows louder until it demands our attention.
Embracing Change: The Cocoon Stage
When change arrives, it often brings confusion and discomfort. Our usual sense of direction feels shaky. Decisions become harder and everything seems to slow down.
This isn’t because you’re failing. Far from it. What you’re experiencing is a natural, necessary phase of growth – Welcome to the cocoon stage.
What Is the Cocoon Stage?
The cocoon stage represents the in-between where one identity starts dissolving and a new one begins to form. This phase, which can feel isolating and disorienting, is often accompanied by self-doubt, frustration or even grief over leaving old patterns behind.
Nicole LaPera, the Holistic Psychologist, describes it as a critical phase in the healing process. During this time, you’re stepping away from the familiar, especially if that familiarity wasn’t serving you any longer. Your mind and body are adapting to a new way of being.
Think of it as the metamorphosis phase of a butterfly: a time of inward focus and transformation where the old structure breaks down to make way for something new and more aligned with who you’re becoming.
Why Does It Feel So Hard?
From a psychological perspective, the discomfort of the cocoon stage arises from cognitive dissonance – the mental tension between your old ways of thinking and the new mindset you’re trying to adopt. Your brain is wired to resist change because it craves safety and predictability, even in situations where the status quo isn’t ideal.
This is why feelings of confusion, resistance and even grief are common during this time. You’re letting go of old beliefs and habits, which provided a sense of stability but kept you stuck.
How to Navigate the Cocoon Stage
The key to moving through this phase isn’t to fight it but to embrace it as part of the process. Here’s how:
Understand the Role of Discomfort
Discomfort is a sign that growth is happening. It’s your mind stretching to make room for new perspectives. Rather than seeing it as a problem, try to view it as proof that transformation is underway. “I can do hard things” is my favorite affirmation during this time. Because heck YES, I can!Pause and Reflect
Allow yourself to slow down. Journaling is an excellent tool for this – it helps externalize your thoughts, making them easier to understand. Focus on naming your emotions, as this practice has been shown to reduce their intensity and increase clarity.Practice Self-Compassion
During this time, your inner critic might get loud, telling you that you’re failing or falling behind. That you need to make quicker decisions and do more! Counter this with self-compassion. Remind yourself that growth is nonlinear and messy and slow in the beginning, but it’s always worth it.Connect with Safe Support
Share your experience with someone you trust: a friend, family member, therapist or mentor. Talking things out can help you process emotions and remind you that you’re not alone in this. When we speak about our struggles we gain a deeper understanding of what we’re going through. Speak to Realize.Celebrate Small Wins
Every small step forward is a victory. Acknowledge and celebrate moments where you notice progress, even if it feels tiny. Even if it’s just “I promised myself to work on my boundaries and today I say No to XYZ.”
The Power of Trust
The most important thing you can do during this stage is trust the process. Trust YOURSELF. Your innate wisdom will always guide you in the right direction, if you choose and practice to listen.
Just like a caterpillar doesn’t become a butterfly overnight, real transformation takes time. The cocoon stage is where you’re doing the inner work - rewiring old patterns, building new habits and aligning with your true self.
So, if you’re feeling stuck or lost, remember this: It’s part of the journey and it won’t last forever.
Lean into the discomfort. Give yourself grace. And trust that this stage is leading you toward a stronger, freer and more authentic version of yourself.
You’ve got this!
xX Fabi